Photo courtesy of quicheisinsane
Happy new year! As I write this, I’m in Mexico, about to start ten days of rest, relaxation and recuperation. This article is the second to last thing on my “to do” list, then I’m going to unplug. In this series of 3 articles I’m going to offer some tips that can help you experience more clarity, enjoyment and results in 2013 and beyond. Specifically, you’re going to discover how to get maximum leverage for any goals, dreams and resolutions you may have (whether you have any, or even if you choose to travel “goal-free”!)
Leverage Point #1 – Clarity of Understanding
Your understanding of how life works is your biggest leverage point for any endeavour. Just as your understanding of automobiles determines your ability to repair a car, and your understanding of diet and nutrition determines your ability to make healthy food choices, your understanding of how life works (and how the mind works) determines your ability to have a fulfilling experience and create the results that matter to you.
And just as a small increase in understanding about engines or nutrition can have a huge impact on your ability to make good decisions in those domains, a small increase in your understanding of how your mind and your life work can have a huge impact on your quality of life. It turns out that this is extremely relevant when it comes to creating what matters to you. I’d like to share a distinction from my forthcoming book, Clarity (being released by John Wiley & Sons Ltd in March, 2013):
************
DISTINCTION: Outside-in VS Inside-out
Our experience of life is created from the inside-out, but it often looks as though it’s created from the outside-in. This is because our experience of life is less like looking through the viewfinder of a camera, and more like wearing a pair of virtual reality goggles. Data streams in through our senses, and we generate an experience from the inside-out:
Inside-out: We’re always living in the feeling of our thinking. 100% of our felt experience is always coming from THOUGHT in the moment, from the inside-out. None of our experience is coming from anywhere other than THOUGHT.
Outside-in: Due to a trick of the mind, it often appears as though we’re feeling something other than our moment to moment thinking; like our experience is being created from the outside-in. This illusion can be very compelling, but it never works that way (that’s why it’s called an illusion).
History is full of these illusions and false appearances:
Flat Earth VS Spherical earth: People used to think the earth was flat, because that’s how it looked to them. But it was never flat; it was always spherical, with some bulging (officially its shape is described as an “oblate spheroid”). It’s spherical 100% of the time, even when it looks like it isn’t.
Geo-centric VS Solar-centric: People used to think that the Sun went round the Earth, because that’s how it looked to them. But the sun never went round the Earth; the Earth always went round the sun. The Earth goes round the sun 100% of the time, even when it looks like it doesn’t.
Our experience is always being generated from the inside-out, 100% of the time, even when it looks like it isn’t.
************
I refer to the outside-in misunderstanding as "superstitious thinking". The anthropologist Gregory Bateson famously pointed out that our biggest problems come from the difference between how nature works and the way people think. The outside-in illusion can be a troubling place to live. Some people live there a lot of the time; others only visit occasionally, but we all fall into the trap of thinking we live in an outside-in world from time to time.
When we think our feelings come from something other than our thinking in the moment, it massively complicates the domain of goals and resolutions. Let’s take a few common examples from the numerous “New Years Resolutions” articles out there: stop smoking, enjoy life more, find a soul-mate.
Resolution Example: Stop smoking, drink less etc
Smoking, drinking and other habitual behaviours are common ways people “take care of” their feelings of insecurity. Let’s use the example of someone who says “I smoke because it de-stresses me.” Their smoking habit is grounded in a couple of examples of the outside-in misunderstanding:
Misunderstanding Number #1: It looks as though their feelings of stress are coming from something other than their thinking in the moment (eg. Their job, their partner, their finances etc) but it doesn’t work that way. In reality, 100% of their feelings of stress are coming from their thinking in the moment.
Misunderstanding Number #2: It looks as though their feelings of relief and relaxation are coming from the cigarette, but it doesn’t work that way either. In reality, 100% of their feelings of relief and relaxation are coming from their thinking in the moment.
The CLARITY® model refers to the natural capacity for experience – thinking, feeling and perceiving – that all human beings are born with. This innate capacity generates 100% of our experience of life, moment-to-moment. As a person increases their understanding of CLARITY, they experience greater choice about what they do and don’t do. Unhealthy habits often fall away as your clarity of understanding increases and your misunderstanding-based stress levels decrease.
Resolution Example: Enjoy life more
Life is inherently enjoyable; while we have our ups and downs, we’re set up to enjoy life. But this isn’t necessarily evident when we’re confused about where our feelings of enjoyment come from. A quick scan of articles about how to enjoy life more reveals that even the “life enjoyment experts” are confused about the source of feelings. Here are some of the most popular things they recommend:
– Get a pet – Exercise more – Meet people |
– Find a hobby – Read a book – Listen to music |
– Exercise – Eat healthily – Sleep well |
While all these are nice suggestions, they have no causal connection to your enjoyment of life. We live in a thought-created experiential reality. 100% of your enjoyment of life comes from your thinking in the moment. While pets, hobbies, books, people and healthy food all sound great to me, none of them can have you feel anything that isn’t in your thinking.
– Feelings of stress come from your thinking in the moment
– Feelings of love come from your thinking in the moment
– Feelings of dissatisfaction come from your thinking in the moment
– Feelings of enjoyment come from your thinking in the moment
Enjoyment of life is your “default setting”, just like it is for all people. It’s what’s there when there’s nothing else in the way. And what gets in the way? Superstitious thinking – the mistaken belief that we’re feeling something other than our thinking in the moment. 100% of your felt experience of life comes from 100% of your thinking in the moment. If you want to enjoy life more, increase your clarity of understanding of CLARITY.
Resolution Example 3) Find a soulmate
While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to “find a soulmate”, people come unstuck when they mistakenly believe their feelings of happiness / joy / love / peace etc can come from anywhere other than their thinking in the moment. In fact, if you expect another person to “make you happy”, you’re in for a rough ride. Soulmate-seekers often run a pattern that looks like this: “I’ll be happy when I find my soulmate”. And it’s not just confined to soulmate-seekers; Lots of people’s goals have the structure “I’ll be X when I get Y”, where X is a feeling state and Y is a goal. Here are a few examples:
– I’ll feel good about myself when I get fit
– I’ll feel secure once I have £10,000 in the bank
– I’ll be happy when I get that new car
– etc
It’s a nice idea, but it just doesn’t work that way. We live in an inside-out world; 100% of your feelings come from your thinking in the moment. 0% of your feelings come from anywhere else. Don’t get me wrong; I’ve got nothing against soulmates, money, fitness or cars – they just can’t make you feel anything that isn’t in your thinking. And it turns out that this is GREAT news when it comes to setting goals.
When we feel insecure, we look outside ourselves to make us feel better. But when we're feeling good, we just want what we want. As you increase your clarity of understanding of CLARITY, you’ll start to realise that you don’t need anything to be happy and enjoy your life. As you start to get a deeper understanding of how life works, and how the mind works, you’ll find yourself enjoying life more and more. And when you know you don’t need anything to be OK, you’re free to have whatever you want.
You can increase your clarity of understanding of CLARITY at www.JamieSmart.com where you’ll find more great free stuff, including articles, audios and videos. In the next article we’ll be exploring Leverage Point #2 – Clarity of Mind.
Wishing you a happy, prosperous and peaceful 2013.
Jamie
PS Please take a moment to post any questions or comments you'd like me to respond to. Thanks! J
Comments
Thanks Jamie – a very apt reminder of being aware in the moment….. I had started thinking of the illusions again ! Enjoy Mexico.
Thank you Jamie – this article has reached me at exactly the right moment in life!
Hi Jamie,
Really like the succinct way in which you have explained how we can live life thinking that what happens out there, impacts upon us and influences the way we think and feel.
I would like a bit more on managing a daily reality of disability. Maybe I am still not fully grasping the issue or understanding. I am caught in a perscribed medication and side affect trap. I know they are not good for me, but the if not taken the pain is unmanageable.
Love it Jamie, This makes so much sense. Wishing you the best year ever in 2013
Lots of love buddy.
Jon B
Hi Jamie, Good article. I just have one point of distinction, and please correct me if I'm stuck in the outside in thinking…
When you say "100% of our felt experience is always coming from THOUGHT in the moment," I'm not sure I agree, at least without adding some other conditions. It seems to me that can be true to a point, but lets say someone has been living with a poor diet, inadaquit exercise, has had accidents and thier spine is off, etc and has lived with these for many years. Will niot their felt experience, even if they are fully living in a inside-out mindset, be less comfortable than someone who has had an great diet, good fitness and regular chiropractic care to endure a healthy sipne and also had an inside out mindset? It seems to me that inside out thinking is great for momemtn to moment emotions, but understanings of how life works (ex what foods are good for me) is also helpful for longer term "feeling good".
Hi Jamie, thanks for another great article. Since I discovered the truth about inside-out vs outside-in living, my world has changed expotenitally.
A timely reminder that the illusion of truth does it best to appear as real, but as you say, is just my thoughts at any given time.
Have a wonderful time in Mexico.
Sometimes when the ride is uncomfortable the wheels have really fallen off.
Great Jamie! I can't wait for you to bring something new from Mexico.
Enjoy your stay there!
Hi Jamie:
Right on! It all starts with "I think, therefore I am." Isolate the thoughts & you have successfully isolated your reality – "What I think is who I am, & what I experience."
The obessesive focus on changing externalities, misses the real point of change – the mind, and the thoughts it produces. The acrhitecture of the brain can be changed as can the thoughts it produces – herein lies the key to true transformation.
I'm interested in your work – please keep me up to date!
Thanks
Eric
Hey Jamie, great wisdom! A few weeks ago I was about to make some serious decisions based on my "thinking" and I saw a friend had posted a little blurb on her FB page about acting from the heart rather than the head. That saved me from some regrettable actions. Now I consciously have a conversation with myself , "So, I'm thinking this about that subject; what does my heart feel about it?" Many times the "opinions" are different. I go with the heart. Occasionally I forget the heart and will revisit the situation. Cheers and look forward to the next installment. Steady and forward moving New Year!!!
Hi Pamie
Yes as the song goes inside- out and all around!
Love the stuff, thank you
Sylvie
Hi Jamie,
Thanks for the great article. You've added a third dimension to my formula for experiencing life. I have always stopped short at (1) 'Mind' and (2) 'Heart' because I perceived my realities were determined and/or influenced by what I THINK with my Mind and by what I FEEL with my Heart. Now I have learned from you that my Senses (PERCEPTION) are equally important in the equation REALITY = (THOUGHT x FEELING)/PERCEPTION because I believe that Thought and Feeling are INSIDE and PERCEPTION is the response of my Thought and Feeling to the OUTSIDE, in line with the INSIDE-OUT flow of Reality, as you have explained.
Hope to read more from you. Enjoy Mexico to the max.
Feliz Año Nuevo para usted en México
Awesome post! As a coach, it's interesting that 100% of every single issue I need to tackle as an issue simply because they are looking for a resolution from the outside in. The simple shift in thinking most always removes their issue. The only time the issue comes back or they have another issue to tackle, it's the same thing…Outside in Thinking!
Keep on blasting your nuggets of Wisdom!
http://www.amirkarkouti.com
Hello Jamie, great article. Many thanks. Very much looking forward to your book being published. I was listening to your mp3s the other day while waiting for the tube during a delay (and I started looking around for people misbehaving)… and I was listening to your analogies which are so simple and yet so apposite. What I find difficult is that I often struggle visually around the mind, consciousness, awareness etc. If I had a diagram/graphic that helps me consolidate the learning point that would be of enormous value and I wonder if other people feel the same – when we get it visually, it sticks. So, I wondered if there would be any graphics in the book that help to explain the concepts. Regards Vince
Great reminders Jamie. I'm reading your book 'Effortless Evolution' again and it makes a lot of sense. Great insights. All the best for 2013.
Thanks
Hi Jamie…. I am waiting for part 2 and 3…. Thx, great article.
Thanks Jamie I always enjoy reading your insights. What I would like to know is how to allevaite my frustration when I am in a 'mood' and I know my thinking is tricking me because I am in a mood but I still get tricked and the feelings flow!!! Does that make sense? 🙂
[…] the first article of this series, we explored how an increase in your clarity of understanding is your biggest leverage point for […]
Jamie,
ok ay fella, I get the happiness is a state that can only exsist in your thoughts. And so to be happy, think happy. And to be in pursuit of happiness is to reach inside your own mind.
My challenge is this. Why drive a nice car, why go on holiday to Mexico? Most people do these things to "get" happy. But as it's in your head why do them?
What is our motivation to do this stuff if it isnt to be happy? I think I know my reasoning but I would love, really love to hear yours.
Mmmm…someone once said to me "If there is trouble in your life, you are the trouble". At first I disputed it, but it doesn't matter how I look at it, it is true. For me this is the same as the "inside – out " that you speak of. It's nice to be reminded of it though.
Love your work,
Deb
Excellent explanation of how we deal with reality and the importance of our mental models in happiness!
Thank You!
I learned this a couple of years ago and it was a HUGE enlightenment! Everything is happening within us…even the "light" is perceived inside our "dark" brains…thanks for the article that helps to explain this truth to people!
The Kingdom of Heaven is within you! And Shakespeare said it too: ""There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so".
God Bless…
Diane
Jamie,
I LOVE the idea of thinking "insde out". That is now how I am living. It is a whole new world, is it not? :). I have to remind myself to do so, but when I get there…it just makes sense. I have placed the quote "Thought creates your reality" on my wall at work. I have seen people get "goosepumps" after they have read it, or after I have spoken those words to them. (always as a quote), hmm….just got goosebumps thinking of theres. That is always a sign for me something is of truth.
Thank you, you are my biggest inspiration.
Leslie
Hey are using WordPress for your site platform?
I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and create my own.
Do you need any coding expertise to make your own blog? Any help would be greatly appreciated!
You actually make it seem really easy along with your
presentation but I to find this matter to be really one thing which
I feel I’d by no means understand. It kind of feels too complex and extremely broad for me.
I am taking a look ahead to your subsequent submit, I’ll try
to get the grasp of it!
It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d certainly donate to this superb blog!
I guess for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and
adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to
new updates and will share this blog with
my Facebook group. Chat soon!