Released on May 22nd, 2020
In this week’s Friday Shot of Clarity, we’re going to explore one of many people’s deepest unconscious fears: the fear of being criticised.
I saw a tweet a couple of weeks ago from a chap called @brian_armstrong – here it is…
“You have to be ok with people hating you to do anything interesting it turns out. Nobody mentioned that growing up. Figure out what you feel is right and go for it, regardless of what others think. The world is full of people who will criticize you, no matter what you do.”
I shared it with the folks in my ClarityPro group, and a number of people commented on the word “hate” in the original tweet. I replied that there’s an interesting ambiguity in the sentence…”
You have to be ok with people hating you to do anything interesting it turns out.”
…it can also read as ‘hating the fact that you’re doing something interesting’ which is less personal and possibly closer to the truth.
And this put me in mind of the last few lines of that famous Marianne Williamson quote, and something nobody ever mentions about it.
Here’s the bit I mean:
“It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.”
And here’s the thing nobody ever mentions about it…
Those last 2 sentences are 100% true, but there should be a final sentence in brackets, along the lines of…
⚠️WARNING: They won’t necessarily thank you for it⚠️
Think about it…
We talk about ‘awakening’ and ‘waking people up’…
But a lot of the time, when someone’s fast asleep… curled up in their bed… comfy and cosy…
And you do something that starts waking them up…
They come half-awake, and feel confused… or irritated… or angry that someone’s disturbed their peaceful slumber…
And they tell you to shut up… or to piss off…
They want you to leave them alone so they can go back to sleep.
Q: Have you ever had this when you’ve started waking someone up (either literally or figuratively)?
Has this ever *been* you?
Big love
Jamie
Jamie Smart, Sunday Times Bestselling Author, Speaker and Executive Coach
Comments
Yes. I realise on both sides. And in particular, on the creator side just last night, so this is super timely for me…
Thanks for posting Jamie.
Michael
People get very offensive and accuse me of spreading fake news of what’s going on at the moment. Find it so frustrating and quite honestly bewildering
This is an interesting observation. It align with a view I have heard expression, that the truth liberates but at first it pisses you off.
Also the story of a person sleeping reminds to you Jamie, that the acronym VUCA pronounced and written vuka in Nguni languages in Southern Africa (Zulu, Ndebele, Setai, Xhosa ) means wake up, or be alert, or be smart, or be on your toes – an interesting solution In the world of Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity and Ambiguity.
Please correct: it aligns Then expression should be Expressed AND Setai is Swati. Apologies
Yes to both and if we are working with people to help them in a transformational way, we have a responsibility as best we can to not leave them floundering and help them see beyond their sleepy selves.
I guess it depends if someone wants to wake up and how much wants it.
By the way: just a while ago I thought about buying things and suddenly it came to my mind: “Am I crazy?”. I’m not shure what it means yet, but it was like a pain in my head.
When I was a kid I stayed at my grandparents house in Oklahoma during the summers. At times my mother and grandmother would come into my bedroom in the middle of the night and wake me up saying “get up immediately we are going to the storm cell”. “No, just leave me here” I would protest. They knew better but I had never experienced one of the tornadoes that sometimes hit Oklahoma.