A lot of people have been asking me about how you can “use” the principles behind Clarity in the context of coaching and 1:1 work, so I thought I’d start by showing you some “Clarity Coaching” in action.
For the next 3 posts, I’ll be sharing videos of a coaching session I did with a client, Ian, last November. It was a short coaching session (16 minutes) but had a profound impact, as you’ll see. The video was shot during a powerful 3-day programme I ran for my inner circle clients, called “Navigating by Wisdom”. I don’t know if the areas we explored will be relevant to you or not, but as well as seeing how I work with my client, you may also benefit from your own insights as you watch the videos.
Here are some of the things we explore in the first video:
- Feeling ‘stuck’ and boxed in by circumstances (money / age / time / goals)
- Getting lost in your thinking about work / changing career / the future
- Trying to ‘think your way’ out of problems (without much success)
During the first video, I’m mostly working to get a feel for where the client is at, but by the end of it, Ian’s in a reflective state (you’re going to discover why reflection is such a useful place for a person to be).
During the second video, we head somewhere new, and Ian has some powerful realisations. Then in the third video, we follow up with Ian the next day, finding out how the coaching session is already making a difference to him.
I hope you enjoy these videos – please post your comments and questions on the blog below.
To your increasing clarity!
Jamie
PS I’m going to be doing a webinar next week where I unpack the principles behind Coaching with Clarity, so please post any questions you’d like me to answer on that webinar below.
Comments
Jamie,
what a wonderful video. I love your use of questions and the way you are tenacious in your curiosity. Beautiful example of coaching with the Principles, thank you
Thanks Tammy – glad you like it. J
What continues to amaze me about this process is that by watching the video and pausing it where you ask the questions and applying that knowledge to my (very different) problem I achieve clarity and understanding. A truly content free system that continues to allow me to grow and get stronger.
I cannot thank you enough for introducing me to this.
Thanks Neil – that's how powerful your wisdom is! J
Hi Jamie – I just love watching you work with clients and have done in videos from your Salad days. I will watch this one over and over again. Thank your for sharing!
Thanks Jenny – love to know what you think of the next 2 in the series. J
Hi Jamie
This is a wonderful example of Clarity Coaching in action.
It's clear from the conversation that Ian knows something about the Three Principles and has done some of his own development work based on that thinking. But how would you work differently, if at all, with a brand new client who knew nothing about the principles?
Warmly
Christine
Hi Christine – Thanks for a great question. How I work is the same, specifically, 1) I listen as deeply as I can to the client, with nothing on my mind, 2) I ask the questions and make the points that occur to me in the moment, coming from my wisdom and 3) I pay attention to the client's response and adjust accordingly.
At a workshop a few weeks ago, I worked with a client who's brand new to this and we got it on film, so I'll hopefully be posting her video soon. I'll also be addressing this question in the "Coaching with Clarity" webinar on Wednesday June 3 so make sure to tune in to that, too.
http://instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=42204423&inf_contact_key=00bb7c7b845f4b50b9e298caa1a7371b4e2e72f30663e709c5930496554746e1
Thanks again, Christine – looking forward to seeing you soon! Best, J
I watched this several times and all I get from it is confusion. Is that the point?
Hi Andrew – thanks for your question. The point is all about my client, Ian, so it's not a "teaching" video per se. Having said that, "confusion" can be a step in the right direction when someone's been feeling stuck until now. I'd love to know what happened for you once you watched parts 2 & 3. Best J
This is a great example of effective and fast coaching. Of course, Ian already has some familiarity with the 3 principles so that makes things a whole lot easier. And, I note that Jamie is still using a lot of NLP. So it is interesting how he is combining the two. What I don’t like, is that Jamie still sounds like a manipulative NLPer and therefore for me, lacks authenticity.
Hi Steven, Forgive me as I do not really understand your last comments re manipulative NLPer and lacking authenticity. Ian is clearly Jamie's client and is enjoying the process. Jamie is not selling him an unwanted Timeshare in the Costa del Sol, in fact he's not selling him anything The questions Jamie is asking are I believe based in the sound and successful practices of master change worker, Milton Erickson. Ian is at this event looking for a result to the impasse in his business. Jamie is trying to navigate him towards a solution. If that's manipulative I promise never to drive my wife to her doctor's appointment again. Regards Vince
Hi Steven, Thanks for your comment. These days I don't put any attention on "using" NLP. However, the ways of using language and metaphor that I've developed over many years are thoroughly encoded into my patterning, so that's what comes out, guided by wisdom.
That's a really important point. I'm asking the questions that occur to me rather than trying to achieve a specific outcome. I'm as "in the unknown" as Ian is, but I know that if we explore together, and I ask him what occurs to me in the moment, that's the best shot we've got of finding our way into reflection and insight (where he ends up at the end of Video 1)
If I were to put attention on trying not to ask the questions and phrase things in the ways that occur to me naturally, that would be extremely inauthentic. What you see in the video is how I actually talk 🙂 Best J
I like the way Jamie asked very simple questions to increase Ian’s awareness around his need to move from superstitious thinking to intuitive realization of his presence which is free from the images he was creating about the future. It seemed to open Ian up to the possibility of leaving the feeling alone to resolve itself. This released the stuck feeling into bubbles of laughter and smiles.
mr kukananthan, what i'm curious is what happens after ian has achieved realization and able to let go of the feeling thinking mode. how will he move from there? will he just wait, let the self-correcting nature of our mind to surface up clarity, and then let the clarity 'tell' him what to do?
Thanks GK & Oxford – check out videos 2 & 3 for more on this. Best J
I have just watched vidoes, and read comments from various people, each which I respect and most I totally agree.
In Steven comments picked up by Vince, which was pretty much what my thoughts on it, Yes Jamie it appears to me that Jamie uterlising some of his expertise in NLP and other expertise, and has transformed all his skills and knowledge it into his methodolgy applied to a clarity coaching, as practitioner often have a whole arsenal of tools, speaking from a person perspective, I'd like to reframe it as accessing the resources he has for the benifit of Ian.
I think I am right in saying there always confusion prior to learning, so I particluary loved the comment from, Andrew, excellent!!!!!!!!
Ian experience is exact replicia of my biggest challenge thinking about thinking and getting lost in the thinking, was fasinating callabrating Ian
Excellent work to you both Jamie and Ian and thanks for sharing it with us
Stay playful, curious and notice the amazing things and opportunities that enrich our lives every day
Marie