Jamie Smart

  • About
    • Jamie Smart
    • CLARITY / Subtractive Psychology
    • Media
  • Programmes
    • ClarityPro Membership Programme
    • Career Transition Blueprint
    • Thriving Coaches Blueprint
    • The CLARITY Certification Training
    • Coaching & Mentoring
    • Clarity 1:1 Intensive with Jamie Smart
  • Self-study
  • Corporate
  • Free
    • Blog
    • Thriving Coaches Podcast
    • GET CLARITY Podcast
  • Books
    • Clarity
    • Little Book of Clarity
    • Results
    • Little Book of Results
  • Contact
    • General contact details
    • Book Jamie to speak at your event

The Three Keys to a Low-stress Christmas (and a Happy New Year)

Posted on December 18, 2012 by Jamie Smart

 

Photo courtesy of Peiroleo

 

People often ask me what the secret is to having a low-stress Christmas, and a genuinely happy new year. In this article, you’re going to discover my top three tips for enjoying the holidays and the year ahead.

Key Number 1 – Connection
Christmas is supposed to be a time of warmth, togetherness and connection with loved ones. But all too often “imposed togetherness” results in stress and conflict. Old family skeletons fall out of the closet, unrealistic expectations aren’t met and tempers get frayed. This is the result of superstitious thinking; a misunderstanding about where our feelings are coming from. It often looks like our feelings of stress are coming from our circumstances (the endless Christmas songs, the bank balance, the father-in-law) but they’re actually coming from our thinking in the moment. Feelings of warmth and connection are natural for human beings when there’s nothing in the way. And what gets in the way? Superstitious thinking; the mistaken belief that our feelings are coming from something other than our thinking. Seeing through this misunderstanding immediately starts a self-correcting process that returns us to clarity and connection.

Key Number 2 – Clarity
Clarity is a kind of universal resource; when we have a clear head, we automatically feel connected to the people around us, and intuitively know how to deal with even the most difficult situations. It’s well-known that top athletes and business leaders profit from a clear mind, but it’s less widely understood that clarity is equally essential when it comes to everyday life. When our minds are clogged with superstitious thinking, we tend to feel disconnected, stressed and tetchy. When we’re lost in superstitious thinking, it looks like our feelings are coming from somewhere other than thinking. But we’re always feeling our thinking in the moment. Even if everyone in the family would swear that Great Aunt Agatha definitely is really, really annoying… 100% of their experience of Aggie is coming from their thinking. One of the biggest contributors to superstitious thinking is the “I’ll be happy when…” syndrome. Modern marketers inundate us with powerful imagery and messages telling us that the products and services they sell will bring us security, happiness and wellbeing, but it just doesn’t work that way. Our feelings about life are generated from the inside out. If you doubt this, look at little children; clarity and connection are a way of life for them. They get lost in superstitious thinking just like the rest of us, but they let it go quickly and naturally, returning to clarity. Little children intuitively understand the “make-believe” nature of thinking.

Key Number 3 – Understanding
At this point, people often ask “How can I get rid of superstitious thinking and start experiencing the clarity and connection that will give me a great holiday season?” It’s the most natural thing in the world. Feelings of stress and irritation are often a signal that you’re caught up in your thinking. The fact that you’re reading this article means that when you get stressed, it will occur to you at some point that the feeling is coming from your thinking rather than your circumstances. The moment it occurs to you, the process of getting rid of the superstitious thinking has begun. The mind is a self-correcting system, naturally designed to return you to clarity, connection and peace of mind. The only things required for that process to happen are an understanding of how the system works, and an absence of external correction. CLARITY is the natural capacity for experience – thinking, feeling and perceiving – that all human beings are born with. This innate capacity generates 100% of our experience of life, moment-to-moment. Clarity and connection are a naturally emergent property of CLARITY – they aren’t something you do; they’re something you already have.

Thanks for all your support in 2012. Wishing you a warm, peaceful holiday time and a happy, prosperous 2013. To your understanding, clarity and connection!

J

This entry was posted in Innate Thinking, Misunderstanding. Bookmark the permalink

Comments

Leave A Comment →
  1. Vincent Stevenson
    December 18, 2012 Reply

    Hi Jamie, I really enjoy reading your work, listening to the mp3s and having that greater feeling of connection and clarity. I really like the calm way you speak, is it dilerately hypnotic? Wishing you and your two girls a wonderful Christmas and New Year. Regards Vince

    • Jamie Smart
      December 19, 2012 Reply

      Thanks Vince – I trained and worked for many years as a hypnotist, and teacher of hypnotic protocol. I guess it would be possible for me not to be hypnotic, but I'd have to try really hard 😉 Glad you're enjoying my work. Have a good one yourself, Vince. Best J

  2. Mamoon
    December 18, 2012 Reply

    "The only things required for that process to happen are an understanding of how the system works, and an absence of external correction"…

    What do you mean by 'an absence of external correction'? What are some examples of that?

    Cheers!

    • Jamie Smart
      December 23, 2012 Reply

      Great question, Mamoon. Here's an explanation from the book: 

       

       Outside-in methods such as positive thinking, affirmations and other techniques are examples of external interference. Other examples include smoking, drinking too much and internet addiction.  

      Does that help? J

  3. Anna
    December 18, 2012 Reply

    I couldn't agree more, Jamie.  I've just shared it on my timeline on fb.

    Happy holidays!

    Big Love, Anna 

    • Jamie Smart
      December 23, 2012 Reply

      Thanks Anna – have a great time over the holidays. Big love back to you, Jx

  4. Greg
    December 18, 2012 Reply

    Jamie,

    Great work.

    The expectations don't even have to be unrealistic to cause issues. Realizing the expectations are also self thought generated can be liberating.

    • Jamie Smart
      December 23, 2012 Reply

      True! As soon as a person realises they're up against their own thinking, the whole game changes.  Thanks for posting, Greg. J

  5. Jan
    December 18, 2012 Reply

    Funny enough my neices and I were talking about superstitions.  One of them has a whole list of things that she won't do.  As she reeled them off I was asking 'what if that isn't true and it's just your thoughts'.  We ended up with a lively discussion I can tell you!

    What was great was the fact that you could see the penny dropping around old superstitions that have no basis in truth, just old thoughts that originated in the past.  I'm going to send them this article to enable them to have a greater clarity – thanks Jamie.

    • Jamie Smart
      December 23, 2012 Reply

      Lovely, thanks Jan – your nieces are lucky to have you in their lives. To your increasing clarity! Have a great time over the holidays. Jx

  6. Tom Hancock
    December 18, 2012 Reply

    Great work Jamie.

    In the few months i have been working with you in the inner circle my understanding has deepened greatly and thanks to all you wonderful people i have much more clarity and much less superstitious thinking.

    Have a great Christmas, BIG LOVE

    Tom

    • Jamie Smart
      December 23, 2012 Reply

      Thanks Tom – it's great to have you involved. Looking forward to seeing your clarity continuing to increase in 2013! Have a great Christmas & new year. Big love, J

  7. Adrian
    December 19, 2012 Reply

     

    Hey Jamie, 

     

    I thought i'd take the opurtunity to ask you about a story..

    since you we welcoming comments 🙂

    once i heard you talk about a wealthy guy you new way back,

    and if he picked up the bill for his friends, they where thinking, tight bastard..

    But if he didnt, they would think, cheap bastard. ..remember? 

     

    well, im kind of in that spot, even though its not exactly about money.

    so i wonder did he learn to deal with that dilemma, or what could he have done?

    Thank you,
    All the best from spain!
    /Adrian

    • Jamie Smart
      December 23, 2012 Reply

      Hi Adrian. Thanks for the question. I don't know that there's much he could have done about his firends' thinking. But if he'd realised that any distress he had was coming from his own thinking, it would have made a difference to him. Then he would have been free to pick up the bill (or not), depending on what he actually wanted to do. Hope this helps. Best J

  8. Paul Gallagher
    December 19, 2012 Reply

    Hey Jamie, Thoughtful article.

    Two things I'm doing:

    1. Placing my tongue between my teeth to keep my thoughts calm (one of your recorded classes) and to hold that thought before I may blurt something out.

    2. Avoiding people who inevitably will turn my crank. I read advice that if one or two of our favourite people would be attending an event where really unfavourite people were attending, it is perfectly OK to explain to those favourite folks that you would not attend and make an appointment to see them at another time. Of course it is not always possible but surely worth the thought.

    Happy Holidays!

    Paul

    • Jamie Smart
      December 23, 2012 Reply

      Hi Paul

      By all means, do what makes sense, and… Here's a thought. It could be liberating to discover that 100% of your experience of the "unfavourite" people is coming from your thinking in the moment (ie. it's nothing to do with them, no matter how objectionable they may appear to be). It totally makes sense to do what you need to do to ensure your physical safety. And there are certainly people I avoid because I don't enjoy their company, however… what's really going on for me is that I don't enjoy the *thinking* I've habitually thought when I've been in their company in the past. The realisation that it's all coming from your thinking can be very liberating. Let me know how you get on. Happy holidays! J

  9. Mark Abrahams
    December 19, 2012 Reply

     

    THE PATH TO INFINITY

    For almost 60 years I experienced a form of combined ‘disconnection_ ambiguity_misunderstanding’ yet I thought I had a great time _ and still do.

    Jamie, I appreciate all you share and teach.

    Thanks for your contribution in 2012.

    Here’s looking forward to our deepening ‘connection _ clarity _ understanding’ in 2013.

    All the best regarding your book.

    Moment by moment the beautiful journey develops, like an offering of nature behind our eyes, our linked common senses in tune and resonating. We also naturally observe the opposite _ though our awakened senses understand and ‘present’ us, with ease, wisdom to follow and solutions to apply, if we so choose. Such clarity is an innate gift.

    Let’s align inner resources in order to make that difference that so many people seek.

    Here, sharing an edited extract from Garret Kramer, I point towards a solution in need of action: ‘Just imagine the pain, carnage and suffering that could be eliminated if parents, teachers, coaches and mental health professionals understood and then ‘taught’ the principle of thought.’

    Now, I suggest sharing a moment imagining the exponential growth and blossoming of understanding as kids also ‘use’ and share their basic and spiritual connection, clarity and understanding … and get creative in order to generate that towards which wisdom points them.

    As for me, I like to imagine how the world will be in say 2284 and the effortless evolution of humankind that began before before before all form and continues through and including us such that we are the change _ we are the journey _ on the path to infinity. 

    • Jamie Smart
      December 23, 2012 Reply

      Hear hear, Mark! It's always instructional for me to remember that evolution isn't over. To your increasing clarity! Best, J

  10. franco s
    December 19, 2012 Reply

    a nice little shot of xmas cheer Jamie. I'll be mindful to come and have a 2nd glass after I've spent an hour or two with my mum and stepdad over Christmas next week!

    • Jamie Smart
      December 23, 2012 Reply

      Nice one Franco – tread carefully 😉 Have a great time over the holidays. J

  11. Colin G
    December 20, 2012 Reply

    Great post – made me think! In particular the word superstitious I found really challenging and was a great way to describe limiting thoughts and beliefs.

    • Jamie Smart
      December 23, 2012 Reply

      Thanks Colin – I've chosen that word carefully – glad you stayed with it. It's still extraordinary for me to realise that the majority of my problems in life are the result of my own superstitious thinking! Likewise, that my most rich and inspired experience of life will come as the result of increasing clarity. Have a great time over the holidays. Best J

  12. Sarah Pond
    December 20, 2012 Reply

    Thanks Jamie, this is great as usual.  I spent a few hours yesterday listening some of your audios which were fab.  Wishing you a wonderful Christmas and New Year x

    • Jamie Smart
      December 23, 2012 Reply

      Thanks Sarah – so glad you're enjoying my stuff. You have a great time over the holidays too. Best Jx

Click here to cancel reply.

Add Your Comment

Your email will not be published.

  • Topics

    • Clarity
    • Clarity Roundup
    • Coaching with Clarity
    • Connection
    • Enthusiasms
    • Evolution
    • Featured
    • Friday Shot Of Clarity
    • Innate Thinking
    • Insight
    • JST
    • Main Feature
    • Main Feature 2
    • Media Interest
    • Misunderstanding
    • Performance
    • Persuasion and Influence
    • Podcast-GCP
    • Podcast-PCP
    • Podcast-RMP
    • Podcast-TCP
    • Podcast-YEPP
    • Sports Performance
    • The Fourth Wave
    • Thought Revolution
    • Transition
    • Uncategorized
    • Understanding
    • Vision
    • World Clarity
    • Recent
    • Popular
    • Comments
    • FSOC – What’s the “inside” bit of “inside-out”?

      March 18, 2022 1 Comment
    • FSOC – The morphine of self-improvement

      March 11, 2022 No comments
    • FSOC – Planting seeds in Portugal

      March 4, 2022 No comments
    • FSOC – Love and Understanding

      February 4, 2022 No comments
    • #063 – Living a Beautiful Life with Jan and Chip Chipman – Get Clarity Podcast

      January 27, 2022 No comments
    • Andrew Strauss: Was the pressure all in his mind?

      September 3, 2012 81 Comments
    • Navigating in Times of Uncertainty, Complexity and Chaos – Part 1

      September 17, 2012 45 Comments
    • JST 248 – The Future of Psychology (and Humanity)? Part 1

      January 23, 2019 34 Comments
    • Clarity: the killer app

      November 10, 2012 33 Comments
    • The Ultimate Leverage Point

      February 28, 2012 32 Comments
    • Josefina Durán Coronilla: Thank you so much!!...

    • Mateo: Thank you Jamie for this valuable interview. Greetings....

    • Mateo: Hi from Polska, Jamie. I was wondering what are you doing now, bec...

    • Sandra: David H. You're a special kind of smug, aren't you? Funny how you don'...

    • Josefina Durán Coronilla: Just wonderful to read !. As I was reading this article I got little g...

  • Connect with us:
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • YouTube
  • RSS
  • © 2022 Clarity Academy Ltd
  • Privacy policy | Terms and conditions
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Reject Read More
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT