Q: How do you turn mountains into molehills?
I was coaching a client recently around something they’d been preoccupied with.
Worried, anxious, frustrated…
It was the kind of thing where they would think about it so much that it was exhausting.
So I asked them a strange question…
“Has it ever occurred to you that it’s not a big deal?”
They laughed, and said, “I tell myself that.”
I explained that telling themselves wouldn’t work; that what they needed was to see it insightfully for themselves.
I explained, “Through no fault of your own (and with the best will in the world), you’ve genuinely been believing that it was a big deal, right?”
They confirmed that was the case.
I explained that because they’d genuinely been *believing* it was a big deal, it made total sense that they’d been approaching it that way. That it would have been foolhardy *not* to approach it in that way.
Then I asked, “What if it actually isn’t a big deal, but you just hadn’t realized that.”
They said that would be great.
We chatted about this, and I was inspired to create what I’m calling ‘The Clarity Response Quadrant’. It has four sections:
1) It’s a big deal and you see it for what it is (act accordingly)
2) It’s NOT a big deal and you see it for what it is (act accordingly)
3) It’s NOT a big deal and you don’t see it for what it is (the zone of catastrophisation/worry/anxiety etc)
4) It’s a big deal and you don’t see it for what it is (the zone of ignorance/naivete/denial etc)
I sketched this out in the moment and shared it with my client. I explained that it really boiled down to two questions:
a) What’s the truth of the matter? (Big deal or not)
b) Have I realised the truth of the matter? (Y/N)
I suggested that if you can get clear on what the truth of the matter is, it immediately becomes less important or urgent to realise it for yourself.
As they reflected on it, something shifted & they said something profound:
“It hadn’t occurred to me that I could be not bothered about my own reactions.”
And it strikes me that this is the essence of turning mountains into molehills. It’s not that you never feel bothered. It’s more that you’re not bothered about feeling bothered.
Q: What do you reckon? Does this way of looking at it offer you a different perspective on things?
Let me know in the comments below and have a great day.
One from the Archives: Weight Loss and Self Care
This video features a coaching session I did during our Clarity Certification Training programme with a successful coach called Pam Featherstone.
Pam took her coaching business from zero to 1 million in under 3 years and became Action Coach’s No. 1 global coach of the year. In fact, she was the first-ever UK coach to achieve their global award (previously it had been won by coaches from the USA and Australia).
Pam currently gives 80% of all her earnings to charity and has delivered 12000 coaching hours over the course of 5 years but she came on the Clarity Certification Training programme to increase her impact with her clients even more and to experience her own personal transformations.
In this session, you’re going to hear me working with Pam on caring for her own health and wellbeing. This is something I see with a lot of coaches, therapists and transformation professionals – they’re brilliant at supporting other people but sometimes need a little support in taking care of themselves.
Jamie Smart, Sunday Times Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach
PS One more thing… the doors are open for Clarity Certification Training 2022 (CCT). CCT is our flagship seven-month programme for people who want to bring an understanding of the principles behind clarity into their life and their work.
If you want to share this understanding with others in some way (for example to become a successful coach, therapist or trainer) and want to learn how to do this in a way that’s natural, authentic and impactful then this is the ideal opportunity to join CCT.
PPS A few things worth knowing…
1. Clarity Certification Training (CCT) is our flagship seven-month programme for people who want to bring an understanding of the principles behind clarity into their life and their work.
2. I will be delivering all 7 modules on CCT, so you’re going to be working closely with me personally. This means you’ll have the chance to get 1:1 coaching with me in a group context.
3. We’re limiting the number of places on the programme to 36 people. This year’s programme sold out, so we’re expecting CCT 2022 to be fully booked too (the first 23 places are already gone, so there are 13 left as I write. This programme will sell out).
4. When you join now, you’re going to get instant access to the full recordings of a prior year’s programme to start listening to between today and the formal kickoff in January. So everybody’s going to be starting the programme with an even deeper understanding!
5. CCT is accredited by the ICF as a Continuous Coaching Education (CCE) provider. If you’re already certified as an ICF coach, you’ll earn ICF CCE units when you do CCT. If you’re not already a certified ICF coach, you can take part in CCT with full confidence that the programme is fully accredited by the ICF as a Continuous Coaching Education provider.
6. You can join from the comfort of your own home using our state-of-the-art live-streaming facility, and…
7. You can save up to £1,500 when you book your place by midnight Pacific time on Monday, 24th January 2022.
And if you have any questions, you can schedule a call with Deb on my team. Deb was one of the first graduates of Clarity Certification Training (she didn’t join our company until after the training had finished) so she’s got in-depth personal experience of the programme.
Whatever questions you may have – from payment plans to personal matters – Deb will be happy to discuss them with you in complete confidentiality. Just book a call in her diary here.