“The truly scary thing about undiscovered lies is that they have
a greater capacity to diminish us than exposed ones. ”
– Cheryl Hughes
This week saw champion cyclist Lance Armstrong stripped of his 7 Tour de France victories for the part he apparently played in a doping conspiracy. I was interviewed by Sky TV News to give an insight into the psychology behind cheating. I explained that whether it’s on the cycling track, in the boardroom or in the bedroom, there are only 3 underlying reasons people cheat:
Reason Number 1: Lack of security
The driver behind all cheating is insecurity. The cheat thinks their happiness, security and wellbeing is dependant an external factor, such as money, position, recognition or a lover. While this can also be a driver for many people who don’t cheat, the craving for external sources of security is so strong in the cheat that they’ll go to any length to meet that need. The most well-balanced people are looking inside themselves for security, wellbeing and validation; as a result, cheating doesn’t make sense to them.
Reason Number 2: Lack of clarity
The person who cheats is lacking clarity; they’re lost in a maze of junk-thought, and out of touch with their wisdom and common sense. Taken to an extreme, this kind of muddle-headed thinking can be used to justify even the most appalling behaviours. When a person’s head is clear, and they’re in touch with their inner sense of wellbeing, it’s obvious to them that there’s no justification for cheating.
Reason Number 3: Lack of understanding
Behind insecurity and lack of clarity is a misunderstanding; it often looks like our feelings of security, validation and success come from outside of us, but it’s an inside-job. Well-balanced individuals intuitively know this, and live with integrity and common sense. People who don’t realise the inside-out nature of experience are constantly looking outside of themselves, trying to find the resilience and recognition they crave. One of the ways this misunderstanding shows up is in cheating. Another way it appears is in the “lows” often experienced by peak performers when they win the top achievement in their field. If they’ve been looking outside themselves for their wellbeing, they often “crash and burn” in the years following their peak, falling into addiction and other life-damaging behaviours (Eg. Mike Tyson, Ricky Hatton). The champions who intuitively understand the inside-out nature of life go on from their peak to succeed in new careers and new ventures. The key is an understanding of CLARITY.
What I call the “outside-in misunderstanding” (the source of all junk-thought) is a superstition, a mistaken theory about how life works. History is littered with these superstitions and misunderstandings, so there’s no reason we should think ourselves immune to them because just we’re “modern”. The outside-in misunderstanding isn’t just the cause of cheating; it’s also behind most of the other problems people experience. Bullying, discrimination, stress, lack of confidence, procrastination; they’re all the result of the same misunderstanding. But as people start understanding the nature of CLARITY, their heads clear and the problems start to fade.
The great news is that it’s just that; a misunderstanding. We’ve seen through many of the big misunderstandings of the past (earth-centred universe, miasma theory, black magic, flat earth) and the result has been a huge increase in the quality of life for millions. Many of the benefits we enjoy today are the result of seeing through these misunderstandings (air travel, modern medicine, satellite technology).
I’m filled with hope and wonder at the thought of what will become possible for us as a society as we begin to see through this misunderstanding and wake up to our full potential as individuals, and as a species. I’d love to know what you think about this (and to answer any questions you may have) so please post your comments below. Thanks! J
Comments
Hi Jamie, yes, we are living, searching, longing for that one thing that will really make us happy on the outside. Ego covers all our personal thinking, whether good or bad. Cheating is definitely based on insecurity, an attempt to feel good. Unfortunately the feeling a person gets from this in the end is even more insecurity. We already have everything we need to live a beautiful and happy life!! Tonyx.
Thanks Tony – yes – acting from insecurity is like the dog chasing its tail – a game without end. Thanks for posting. Best, J
Perhaps it is beneficial to focus on how we can live better and look at those who are a living example, rather than looking at what is wrong in the world and at why people get so misguided.
Thanks for posting, Robert. I see them as two sides of the same coin. Cheating (& most of the other things "wrong in the world") are the result of misunderstanding. How we can live better is by seeing through that misunderstanding, and living from our natural capacity for wisdom and wellbeing. Pretty much everything that's "wrong with the world" looks to me like a misunderstanding of how life works, that's all. Nothing more. Glad you're looking in this direction, J
Hi Jamie
We seem to spend our lives watching cheaters, not people succeeding. With TV and other instant media availablity we can see cheats nearly every day. Also a great many don't get caught or even chastised if caught, so it seems. Lets have success through honesty media and be in awe of heros; rather than the cheats.
Thanks Angela, I think a great example of what you propose was the coverage of the 2012 Olympics & Paralympics. There was a lot of appreciation of the many outstanding athletes. I have an article about that coming soon. In the meantime, while I love the idea of a media that doesn't focus on the negative, it doesn't look like it's going to show up anytime soon. But maybe it's just a matter of time & people refusing to tune in to the negative stuff – what do you think? Thanks for posting. Best J
Hi Jamie,
I love that you are bringing principled understanding to the bigger, wider stage.
And, with respect to “security”, clarity” and “understanding”, we only have to look at the opposite end of the spectrum to see that people (including us) can so easily get caught up in our thinking … often innocently mistaking outside-in for inside-out.
Concerning this matter of people cheating wherever (classroom, boardroom, bedroom and anywhere else where we find people) I like to add TRUST to my approach.
It's not the sort of trust that most people may think that I mean.
This is the trust in the nature of our understanding _ such that, as we begin to better understand, then we may trust in our innate wisdom and follow towards where it points us … towards
Love And Wellbeing
In the world of professional sports nowadays, almost everybody has used substances in order to achieve the level of performance that is now required in order to be able to participate in the competitions.
Evolution is a process that takes millions of years yet we expect to see world records every time. Blood transfusion were legal in the 70s and it allowed very disciplined, passionate and talented athlets to do amazing performances for that time. Athletes nowadays have the same discipline, passion and talent than in the 70s but now without the help of blood transfusions and evolution they are required to perform better, not to win but just to give the qualification standarts. How do we expect them to do that, without doping?
Trainning techniques have become better, but not that much.
In the case of sport doping the question is not about why an indivual cheats , the question here is what kind of environment forces everyone to dope when it is supposed to be prohibited? And why only few are prosecuted by that crime?
I guess he built his life on sand and now its falling down. So nobody recognises any acheivement he has made, shame.
Subtle decisions can affect the whole, eventually.
We shall be forward focused and integrate our whole make up to create robust changes that rock our foundations. Innate thinking challenges our dreamy mode of living. It empowers our souls where compliance and submission have nested for generations. Its quite scary Jaime!
Having listened to Eckhart Tolle's talks and read Jack Pransky's excellent book 'Things they should have told us', the idea of letting go and being present and allowing the deeper wisdom to bubble up from inside seems like an ideal state of mind to experience life with, and potentially possible.
But how diificult to acheive with so much baggage, mentally, culturally etc? Some times I think humans may be hard wired to struggle! The human givens approach to therapy acknowledges the need for status, attention, privacy, being part of a wider community, security, sense of control and Emotional intimacy and this makes a lot of sense to me. Of course I understand that these 'needs' may be our genetic heritage and most probably are, so I am also mindful that changes in our human mind set may take quite some time to change.
Thanks for your communications Jamie, they have always been inspirational, and I'm sure I will contunue to enjoy your blogs etc.
I wonder if for some individuals cheating is what they do because of a (mistaken) sense of entitlement? These people expect to be first in line for all the pleasures life can bring eg. best qualifications, jobs, money, lovers, lifestyle etc etc. When their desires are frustrated they cheat to get what they want ..
Okay you may say they are mistaken (insecure/muddled) in thinking they need this stuff to be happy, but I would want to argue that some external factors contribute to my overall sense of wellbeing, and that doesn't make me or others like me, necessarily 'muddled'.
Cheaters aren't 'unclear' they are selfish individuals.
Thanks Jamie for your wonderful comments on why people cheat on sports fields, in boardrooms or bedrooms as well as in other contexts. I am learnt from you that this is because of feeling insecurity as well as focusing on outside matters when everything depends on our inside. In fact, man doest not want to lose his current peak position and try their best to keep their position even in exchange of their unfairmeans.
I hope I would learn more of the new things from you in future.
Regards,
Ali
Hi
Interesting and inciteful views on the reasons behind cheating. I believe an awful lot depends on the inner strength someone has which in turn is built on the foundation of a strong self image. What I mean by that is having a positive view of one's self (physical and character/knowledge/skills) and the confidence to face any situation as an equal. Face the world not in an arrogant way but in a mutual respect but take "no prisoners" style.
In the highly competitive field of sport where huge sums of money are shared amongst the few history shows that good, honest people can have their moral compass distorted by financial rewards. The dedication and sheer hard work they put in to training creates a feeling in some of "being owed a top place finish". This creates a weakness that results in cheating.
Having watched an interview with #Phil Legget on #YouTube last night I am not convinced by the USADA assertions and suggest we should all not be too quick to judge the inspirational human being that is #Lance Armstrong.
Regards
Roger
Insecure thinking has a lot to answer for !
Thanks Jamie – I really enjoyed this description of how our misunderstanding that our well-being comes from outside of us can lead to cheating behaviour.
Each time I read one of your blogs or articles I get another angle, deepen my understanding a little more. Another benefit for me is increasing acceptance of, and ease in being with a greater range of other people's behaviour, because I understand where it's coming from.
Looking forward to the next x
Exactly as you always say Jamie (and is of course true), the lowest common denominator is a misunderstanding of how life works. The challenge with cheating like this for anyone, is that the mindet that the behaviour generates will work to keep the person locked in low quality thinking more often. Why? Inevitably after the "euphoria" of victory, there're always the ineveitable feelings of being a fraud, fear of being found out, the ongoing need to lie to remain consistent etc all brought about by the poor thinking that the original decision to cheat generates, merely to retain the facade… All that this head noise will ever serve to do. is. to ensure that the clarity and calmness needed for innate wisdom to shine through will remain elusive…. That to me kinda sucks…
Thank you Jamie I was seemingly cheated on by a ex girlfriend. The terrible thing was It was in the rooms of alcoholics anonymous and she basically chased after me followed me around and antaganized me until one night me and some friend were out for coffee and they showed up. And playing oh I love you. I mean to me it seemed like antagonizing and I said what do you expect to get out of me by doing this. And the guy slammed his hands on the table stood up and treatend to kick my ass. The next day he apologized to me at the meeting and two weeks later commited suicide. She went back drinking. Needless to say I stopped dating people in the recovery rooms. So I guess the same applies to all people not just famous cyclists. I stayed sober. But lesson learned. I didnt date for a long time and I kind of knew I wouldnt because that kind of hurt. Now I just keep coming up against one obsticle after another. I still have much to learn about romance and dating though I have learned a lot nine years ago sinse that event. And watching other do the same most didnt stay sober but some did. I geuss they tell people this in rehabs but I came to the recovery meeting off the street. And the amazing thing is it still happens and sometime I still get a little tied up in it. But I am learning to go out into the world develop some aucuity around who is the fleshy alcoholic girl and not. And of course once things do progress making sure I get to know the perrson and there habits before things go to far. Thanks
Shawn H
Carlisle PA
Now I just stay away from the women altogether. And hang out with the men. And work the programme and do the steps