One of my clients, Jan, recently flew over from New York to have a coaching session with me, and to take part in my Clarity Practitioner one-year programme. We had a great session, and as I was walking her to the tube station, she asked me, “Do you ever make an explicit request or proposal for someone to work with you?” I told Jan that I did, and asked her why she asked. She explained that she didn’t recall me ever making such a request, yet here she was, working with me as a coaching client.
Here’s what happened: Jan contacted me in February 2013 with a view to hiring me as a coach. We scheduled a call, and at the start I said something like this: “Here’s how it’s going to work; we’ll spend some time together, and I’m going to do my best to serve the hell out of you. This’ll give us a chance to get to know each other, and to get a sense of what’s important for you. At the end of the session, I’ll go away and think about whether we’re a good fit. If I think we are, I’ll propose next steps. If I do that, you can decide whether they’re a good fit for you. Does that make sense?” Jan said yes, and we had a powerful coaching session, then a follow-up session a little while later, as well as a few emails back and forth. Not long after that, Jan signed up for a programme with me. When I reminded Jan of this, she said, “Oh yeah, I do remember you saying something like that!”
In a moment, I’ll explain why I say that, but first I want to point something out. The power behind the Effortless Influence approach isn’t in the words; it’s in your grounding in the principles behind clarity. Another way of saying this is that it’s about ‘where you’re coming from’. Speaking the words without having the ‘come-from’ isn’t going to get you the results you want, so I encourage you to focus on deepening your understanding of the principles behind clarity.
Here’s why I said what I said to Jan: when I go into a ‘get to know you’ session with a potential client, I want to feel totally free to make a huge difference to them; I want to have a clear mind. I don’t want to be thinking about:
– Whether or not they’re going to sign up with me
– Whether I’m giving them ‘too much’ in a first session
– Influence tactics of one sort or another
– Any kind of ‘hidden agenda’ (Eg. Mortgage payments)
I know that the best thing I’ve got going for me is a free and clear mind, and when I lay it out like this at the beginning of the call, it doesn’t only let the client know exactly how it’s going to work; it also lets me know I don’t need to be thinking about that. That frees me to focus 100% on serving my prospective client. (I also do this when I’m working with groups of potential clients).
I asked Jan’s permission to share this story, and she was happy to. I was recounting it during an online masterclass I gave a few weeks ago, and Jan was listening in. She then posted a comment, which I was delighted to share with the group. Here’s what she wrote:
“I just want to comment that the way you position the potential for continued working together is SO elegant… That’s why I didn’t remember you’d even done it! it didn’t feel like you were trying to “sell” me, but that you were FULLY present to serve me. That made all the difference.“
That comment means so much to me, because it speaks to the true power of Effortless Influence; the ability to eliminate sales pressure and focus on service.
If you want to discover how to do this for yourself, and have a profound transformational experience in the process, we’ve got a handful of places left on my “Effortless Influence Transformational Bootcamp” next weekend. You can book your place here.
If you’d like to see me demonstrating what I’m talking about in this article, you can watch a 20-minute video here.
To your increasing clarity,
Best wishes
Jamie
Comments
Things you say seem wise, now I try to figure out how to "translate" them into my activity (creative writing). I think I have some glimpses of what it could be.
By the way. In your video you said that "grounding" – "sense of security, wellbeing, within yourself" – means understanding that "I'll be OK no matter what". I'm not sure what you mean by "being OK no matter what". Does that mean just being "happy fly, if I live or if I die", or does "being OK" relate also to being OK in outside world? (I'm not sure If I speak clearly what I want to say.)
Think about how we do communicate is tough when so much of it is unconscious and reactive, it all has to line up like a good jelly that has set. we wobble around abit, then someone gobbles us up.
This is very clear. Perhaps as I have a little experience of doing this and seeing it working. I like Jamie’s clear approach and it is very encouraging. More work needed here to make this happen more consistently but these pointers are very clear.