Jamie Smart

  • About
    • Jamie Smart
    • CLARITY / Subtractive Psychology
    • Media
  • Programmes
    • ClarityPro Membership Programme
    • Career Transition Blueprint
    • Thriving Coaches Blueprint
    • The CLARITY Certification Training
    • Coaching & Mentoring
    • Clarity 1:1 Intensive with Jamie Smart
  • Self-study
  • Corporate
  • Free
    • Blog
    • Thriving Coaches Podcast
    • GET CLARITY Podcast
  • Books
    • Clarity
    • Little Book of Clarity
    • Results
    • Little Book of Results
  • Contact
    • General contact details
    • Book Jamie to speak at your event

JST 253 – Why You Don’t Have to Blow Your Clients Mind

Posted on November 18, 2020 by Eugenia Zelaya

Photo courtesy of fitzsean and Flickr

* WHY YOU DON’T HAVE TO BLOW YOUR PROSPECTIVE CLIENT’S MIND

During a recent programme, I was demonstrating a simple approach to enrolling high-value clients in front of the group. I worked with the prospective client for 15-20 minutes and got their permission to come back to them with a proposal.

After the client sat down, another member of the group commented that the session had seemed pretty ‘low-key’. He said, “I thought that if you want a client to sign up with you, you need to blow their minds in that initial session.” I explained that wasn’t how I thought about it, for a number of reasons…

1) The only person who can blow the client’s mind is the client. Your mind works only one way: from the inside –> out. A coach’s role is to create the context where your client can have the insights and realizations that will make a difference to them on a go-forward basis. But you can’t “give” your client an insight; you can’t “make them” realise something. Your best bet is to create the optimal conditions for that insight to occur. In my case, that involves asking questions, listening to their answers and feeling for a sense of connection so I can start to “get their world” and understand what makes sense to my client.

2) Don’t underestimate how rare and “mind-blowing” it is for people to have someone truly listen to them. All too often, coaches and other transformation professionals are so keen to impress their client that they overlook the basics: calibration and connection.

3) Don’t underestimate the incredible power of connection and getting their world. Until your client can feel a sense of trust and connection with you, they’re unlikely to find themselves in a place where they can have the insights and realisations that will blow their mind. On the other hand, if your client is feeling safe, comfortable and connected to you, they’re not only more likely to have a meaningful insight; they’re also more likely to *enjoy* themselves! HINT: If you want to enrol someone as a client, it’s going to be a lot easier if they actually enjoy spending time with you. Speaking of which…

4) Paradox Alert: If you’re too busy trying to blow someone’s mind, you’re unlikely to have fun and unlikely to do the things you need to do for their mind to get blown. This is a paradox, but a powerful one. The least impressive person is generally the one who’s trying to be impressive. The least ‘mind-blowing’ coach is the one who’s putting their attention on trying to blow their client’s mind instead of putting it where it needs to be: the client. People can feel when you care about them. And that feeling of care is very distinct to the feeling of someone trying to “do something to you” (E.g. blow your mind). And here’s the thing: the more *you’re* enjoying your time with your client, the more likely your *client* is to enjoy their time with you. And it’s pretty hard to enjoy yourself when you’re putting your attention on trying to blow someone’s mind.

5) Don’t underestimate what can show up when someone has a clear head, and feels connection. My primary aims when I’m having an initial “chemistry session” with a client are to a) get into a feeling of connection with them, b) understand where they’re at and, c) understand what “wonderful” would look like. During this process, people often have liberating insights that profoundly re-order how they experience themselves and their world.

That’s how you help your clients blow their own minds, and that’s often the pre-cursor to a long and fruitful client relationship.

By the way, the essential difference between coaches, therapists and other transformation professionals who are making a great living, and those who struggle to get started or stay afloat can be summed up in two words. I made a three minute video about it, and you can watch it here: https://www.jamiesmart.com/packages

I’m giving a small group of coaches, therapists and other transformation professionals the chance to experience a one-off Impact Immersion called Coaching Packages & High Value Clients, and the price goes up at midnight this Friday, 16th June. You can get your place here: https://www.jamiesmart.com/packages

Big love
Jamie

Jamie Smart
Sunday Times Bestselling Author, Speaker and Executive Coach

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink

Click here to cancel reply.

Add Your Comment

Your email will not be published.

  • Topics

    • Clarity
    • Clarity Roundup
    • Coaching with Clarity
    • Connection
    • Enthusiasms
    • Evolution
    • Featured
    • Friday Shot Of Clarity
    • Innate Thinking
    • Insight
    • JST
    • Main Feature
    • Main Feature 2
    • Media Interest
    • Misunderstanding
    • Performance
    • Persuasion and Influence
    • Podcast-GCP
    • Podcast-PCP
    • Podcast-RMP
    • Podcast-TCP
    • Podcast-YEPP
    • Sports Performance
    • The Fourth Wave
    • Thought Revolution
    • Transition
    • Uncategorized
    • Understanding
    • Vision
    • World Clarity
    • Recent
    • Popular
    • Comments
    • #113 – COACHING DEMO: Am I Good Enough – Thriving Coaches Podcast

      July 17, 2023 1 Comment
    • #112 – INTERVIEW: Wisdom Doesn’t Have Rules, Sam Goldfinch – Thriving Coaches Podcast

      April 11, 2023 No comments
    • #070 – INTERVIEW: Coaching in the Midst of Crisis with Mahima Shrestha – Get Clarity Podcast

      March 28, 2023 No comments
    • #069 – INTERVIEW: Dr Bill Pettit – One Cause & One Cure – Part 2 – Get Clarity Podcast

      March 17, 2023 No comments
    • #068 – INTERVIEW: Dr Bill Pettit – One Cause & One Cure – Get Clarity Podcast

      February 23, 2023 No comments
    • Andrew Strauss: Was the pressure all in his mind?

      September 3, 2012 81 Comments
    • Navigating in Times of Uncertainty, Complexity and Chaos – Part 1

      September 17, 2012 45 Comments
    • JST 248 – The Future of Psychology (and Humanity)? Part 1

      January 23, 2019 34 Comments
    • Clarity: the killer app

      November 10, 2012 33 Comments
    • The Ultimate Leverage Point

      February 28, 2012 32 Comments
  • Connect with us:
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • YouTube
  • RSS
  • © 2023 Clarity Academy Ltd
  • Privacy policy | Terms and conditions
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Reject Read More
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT