FSOC – The two sides of language mastery

When I first became fascinated in language from the perspective of influence and transformation, I had the same question that many people do…

 

 

In fact, I played on this when I wrote the headline for my recent masterclass which read, “The ‘Magic Words’ That Spark Engagement, Insight and Transformational Change”.

 

And why was ‘magic words’ in scare-quotes?

 

Because it turns out there are two sides to the question of language. And while most people are looking for the right words to say, the secret resides in the opposite direction.

 

A quick story: during 2011 and 2012, I ran a one-year programme called “Three Principles University”. I’d woken up to the power of this understanding in 2009 and was passionate about sharing it with the world, so I flew in teachers from around the world (people like Dr Keith Blevens, Cathy Casey, Sandy Krot and Dr Mark Howard.)

 

It was incredible learning for my students and me, and I’ll never forget something Mark Howard said during one of his sessions.

 

Someone asked Mark how they could increase their level of impact with their clients, and he replied with something that hit me like a ton of bricks. He said…

 

 

Basically, better listening = bigger impact.

 

I immediately saw the truth of this. The more deeply you’re able to listen (to your client, to your true self and to the wisdom and intelligence behind life), the more likely it is that the following things happen…

 

– you fall into a deeper connection with the person you’re in conversation with…
– you notice the things they say that might ordinarily pass you by…
– you’re guided in what to ask next, and what to say…
– you instinctively know when to speak, and when to remain silent…

 

Here’s how I think about it. Everyone is walking around in an internally-generated perceptual reality. When they experience problems or issues, that’s a function of the Thought-generated reality they’re hanging out in. Same goes for the goals they want to achieve and the changes they want to make in life.

 

I like to think of the Thought-generated reality we’re each walking around in as being like an enormous wooden raft, floating on the ocean. When I’m coaching someone, I want to start by getting a really good understanding of the raft they’re walking around on.

 

In the process of doing that, I find my way into a feeling of connection with them. Then, sooner or later, we find ourselves at the edge of their raft.

 

Once we’re at the edge, we fall off into that infinite ocean of intelligent energy Syd Banks referred to as Mind.

 

And when people find their way back onto the raft, we discover the raft has transformed in our absence. When they climb back onto the raft, my client typically discovers that…
– The problem no longer exists, or…
– The solution is now obvious, or…
– The urgency is gone, and they feel comfortable and confident that the solution will emerge in due course, or…
– The change no longer seems important, or…
– The change has already happened, or…
– The urgency is gone, and they’re happy to let it emerge in an organic way, or…
– The result no longer seems important, or…
– The result has been replaced by something much more inspiring and natural for them, or…
– The way forward is obvious, and they feel ready and excited to start creating it.

 

So what has this got to do with the two sides of language mastery?

Here’s what…

The better you understand how people create their inner worlds, the more facility you can have in navigating those worlds and finding your way to ‘the edge of the raft’; effectively, the edge of their world.

 

If you want to hear me go into this in more depth, check out the full recording of the masterclass I did the other night, The Language of Insight & Transformational Change.

 

It’s available for the next seven days (you’ll just need to enter your name & email address to get instant access). You can watch and listen to the replay on Zoom HERE.

 

Among other things, you’ll hear me do a very impactful coaching demo with Angela around weight loss, as well as some other cool stuff, including: 

 

 

Have a wonderful weekend!

 

Big love,