Photo courtesy of Nanda Sunu
In the first two articles of this series, we explored how an increase in your clarity of understanding and clarity of mind are extremely powerful leverage points for making a difference in your life. In this third and final article we’re going to look at the third leverage point, a factor that’s extremely valuable when it comes to your relationships. It influences your relationships with other people, with yourself, and with life itself. As you’re going to discover, this is highly relevant when it comes to solving problems and realising your goals, dreams and desires.
Leverage Point #3 – Clarity of Connection
Here’s an example of this leverage point from my forthcoming book, Clarity (being released by Wiley in March, 2013):
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During the London Olympics, a curious phenomenon took place; all over the country, people’s moods lifted. I was interviewed by Sky Radio News to give my perspective. At one point, the interviewer asked why communities were coming together around the Olympics, and why people felt more connected to one another. I said that feelings of connection and belonging are natural for people when they’re not lost in isolated, stressful thinking; that when people feel more connected, they have a greater sense of wellbeing. I explained that there’s nothing inherent in the nature of communities (or events such as the Olympics) that has us feeling connected or disconnected; it’s always down to our thinking. It looked like the Olympics was making people feel more optimistic and connected, but the optimism and connection they were feeling is natural for people when they’re paying less attention to superstitious thinking.
As your understanding of CLARITY increases, superstitious thinking falls away and you start experiencing greater connection…
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Connection is what’s already there naturally for people when there’s nothing else in the way…
- Connection with other people
– Connection with your wisdom, intuition and deeper nature
- Connection with life as a whole
And what gets in the way? Superstitious thinking; the mistaken belief that we’re feeling something other than our thinking in the moment. But it doesn’t work that way, ever. Consider these 2 rules of human perception:
Rule #1 – You’re always feeling your thinking in the moment. 100% of your perceptual experience arises from 100% of your thinking.
Rule #2 – Even when it looks like you’re feeling something other than your thinking, you’re still feeling your thinking.
THOUGHT is the best special effects department in the world. We find ourselves in a THOUGHT-generated experiential reality before we know THOUGHT has anything to do with it. As a result, we all get hoodwinked by the “outside-in” illusion, and fall victim to the illusory patterns of superstitious thinking. But here’s the good news: It’s called “superstitious thinking” because it’s an illusion. The outside-in misunderstanding is just that; a misunderstanding. It doesn’t work that way; not ever. It only ever works "inside-out".
And what does this have to do with connection? Here’s what. As I said earlier, connection is what’s already there naturally for people when there’s nothing else in the way. The only thing that ever gets in the way is “superstitious thinking”, a mind-made illusion. Illusions aren’t real, which means that…
There’s never anything in the way. Connection is always and already there for us, no matter what.
While we can fall into the trap of thinking we’ve lost connection with another person, our inner wisdom, or with life itself, we never really do; it’s just an illusion. So how do you “wake up” from the outside-in illusion and start experiencing those connections that are already there? As usual, I’ve got some bad news and some good news:
The bad news: There’s nothing you can “do” in the moment to wake yourself up from the outside-in illusion.
The good news: Your mind is a self-correcting system. As you continue deepening your understanding of CLARITY, you’ll find yourself “waking up” spontaneously, without having to “do” anything.
Here’s how it works: You’ll be caught up in superstitious thinking (possibly with feelings of agitation etc) when suddenly it will occur to you that you’re feeling your thinking, not the thing you’re thinking about. When this realisation occurs to you, it’s a sign that the process of self-correction has already begun; you don’t need to “do” anything to help it along. It’s a naturally occurring process.
As you can see, clarity of understanding, clarity of mind and clarity of connection are all intimately related.
– As you continue increasing your clarity of understanding about CLARITY, you’ll find your self-correcting system working more and more efficiently, returning you more quickly to…
– Clarity of mind… With greater understanding of how the system works, you’ll find yourself spending more time with a clear head, and bouncing back more quickly at those times where you lose your way in superstitious thinking. This increasing clarity of mind is the source of…
– Greater clarity of connection. As you keep waking up from the outside-in illusion, you’ll find yourself more and more deeply in connection with other people, your inner nature, and with life itself.
And what does all of this have to do with achieving your goals and bringing your dreams to life?
You know those days, where everything just seems to fall into place? Where people go out of their way to help you? Where fresh, new ideas flow like a river and problems seem to solve themselves? That’s what! If you want to have more of those days, fewer sleepless nights, and more time to enjoy the people and experiences that matter to you, keep exploring the principles of CLARITY.
If you'd like to experience deeper connection with other people, please share this article using one of the methods below.
You can increase your clarity of understanding of CLARITY at www.JamieSmart.com where you’ll find more great free stuff, including articles, audios and videos.
To your enlightened success!
Jamie
Comments
Hi Jamie, as I have previously mentioned, I am having a great deal of success with your three principles and I was only introduced to them two months ago.
My 1-2-1 sessions with clients (were always good) but now they are great. The only difference is that right from the outset of the meeting I give them 10 minutes of uninterrupted space for them to discuss their issues. During that time I nod, smile and take notes and pick up on their language for reference further down the session. I've noticed that during that time they feel sufficiently confident to discuss some serious hang ups and disappointments (that are not apparently related to the topic of session). Sometimes they tell me that they have never discussed these issues with anybody. By not jumping in and trying 'to fix' them, they often arrive at the conclusion themselves. I don't feel the need to show them that I'm the 'expert' and I don't feel the need to try to sell them some bolted on products or services.
Rapport is what happens when there's nothing else in the way.
I adopt the same principles with telephone conversations with prospective clients. I just let them talk and make a few suggestions as to how we could work together after they have finished. The conversation rate is staggering.
Thanks Jamie for your insights. Looking forward enormously to your book.
Regards Vince
Hi Jamie, I have a question. What about if someone is in physical pain e.g. from an injury – I don't think pain results from our thinking – it's more of an automatic feeling system. I appreciate that our thinking on our pain can influence the degree of sufferring, but my point is that such physical pain might occur despite our thoughts on the pain – at least, that's how it seems to me. I would appreciate your thoughts on this from a 3P perspective.
I understand the concept of what you're saying, but I think it would help to give an example or two to demonstrate the concept.
Here's an example of a conversation I had recently with a very close friend, that ended up leaving me feeling very "disconnected". I was disclosing to this person how worried I was about a mutual friend who, while already dealing with her troubled teenage daughter, just found out that her daughter is gay. The mother was experiencing a lot of shock, anger, and grief at finding this information out, and I was very worried for her as well as her daughter's state of mind. While telling the 3rd party about my concern, rather than just listening to me and expressing empathy for all concerned, he jumped in with 1) his very conservative views on homosexuality and 2) a full-blown psychology lecture explaining why the girl's dysfunctional home life had probably influenced her sexual orientation.
I sat there stunned at the immediate and total disconnection I instantly felt from him, because of his focus on his thinking, rather than just listening to me and realizing that I had shared this news with the intent of receiving understanding of my concern and empathy for my friend and her daughter.
It took me a day or two to process why I felt so unsatisfied at the end of our conversation, but once I figured it out, I vowed to pay much better attention to this phenomena in future conversations with people and to avoid falling into the same trap myself.
REAL-EASE
Hi Jamie,
As a result, I'd simply like to say thank you again.
The links we have effortlessly forged are an indicator of the 'energy ' … the Intelligence before, behind and constantly there _ everywhere _ everything.
I look forward to meeting you (and others) on the crest of the wave … as the collective consciousness settles towards evolutionary outcomes that we can, together, help shape.
In understanding that, individually, we may grow to better understand our human experience, I look forward to the spread of wisdom – to the global take up which will lead towards sustainable solutions, implemented and agreed as a global population. (OK, so limiting belief may suggest to us that this way of being may be a little way off as yet, but if we think it so now, so may it be).
So, let’s imagine the day in a world populated with people and linked groups of people for whom everything just seems to fall into place.
Let’s imagine a day in the world in which people and groups of people go out of their way to help other people.
Let’s imagine a day in the world where fresh, new ideas flow like that proverbial river and problems seem to solve themselves or dissolve as if they never were.
Let’s imagine a day in the world in which more and more people have more and more days like that _ followed by calm sleepy nights and, next day, more time to enjoy the people and experiences that matter to us all.
Let’s imagine a day in the world we create where people enjoy more and more time in their default state of happiness, joy and contentment, balanced against the inevitable yet clearly understood ups and downs of a misinterpreted principled life …. whilst we share and act as we are, as the responsible guardians of the day in the world we create.
And as I feel that thought, I can feel the power behind it and sense the potential that we, together, can real-ease.
I continue to feel some unease, some fear, some scepticism about Jamie's principles. However, they remain the only method I've found that has given me hope of a real relief from symptoms of depression (and all that jazz). I look forward to reading the book, in the hope that Jamie's arguments themselves increase in clarity over time