Jamie Smart

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JST 253 – Why You Don’t Have to Blow Your Clients Mind

Posted on November 18, 2020 by Eugenia Zelaya

Photo courtesy of fitzsean and Flickr

* WHY YOU DON’T HAVE TO BLOW YOUR PROSPECTIVE CLIENT’S MIND

During a recent programme, I was demonstrating a simple approach to enrolling high-value clients in front of the group. I worked with the prospective client for 15-20 minutes and got their permission to come back to them with a proposal.

After the client sat down, another member of the group commented that the session had seemed pretty ‘low-key’. He said, “I thought that if you want a client to sign up with you, you need to blow their minds in that initial session.” I explained that wasn’t how I thought about it, for a number of reasons…

1) The only person who can blow the client’s mind is the client. Your mind works only one way: from the inside –> out. A coach’s role is to create the context where your client can have the insights and realizations that will make a difference to them on a go-forward basis. But you can’t “give” your client an insight; you can’t “make them” realise something. Your best bet is to create the optimal conditions for that insight to occur. In my case, that involves asking questions, listening to their answers and feeling for a sense of connection so I can start to “get their world” and understand what makes sense to my client.

2) Don’t underestimate how rare and “mind-blowing” it is for people to have someone truly listen to them. All too often, coaches and other transformation professionals are so keen to impress their client that they overlook the basics: calibration and connection.

3) Don’t underestimate the incredible power of connection and getting their world. Until your client can feel a sense of trust and connection with you, they’re unlikely to find themselves in a place where they can have the insights and realisations that will blow their mind. On the other hand, if your client is feeling safe, comfortable and connected to you, they’re not only more likely to have a meaningful insight; they’re also more likely to *enjoy* themselves! HINT: If you want to enrol someone as a client, it’s going to be a lot easier if they actually enjoy spending time with you. Speaking of which…

4) Paradox Alert: If you’re too busy trying to blow someone’s mind, you’re unlikely to have fun and unlikely to do the things you need to do for their mind to get blown. This is a paradox, but a powerful one. The least impressive person is generally the one who’s trying to be impressive. The least ‘mind-blowing’ coach is the one who’s putting their attention on trying to blow their client’s mind instead of putting it where it needs to be: the client. People can feel when you care about them. And that feeling of care is very distinct to the feeling of someone trying to “do something to you” (E.g. blow your mind). And here’s the thing: the more *you’re* enjoying your time with your client, the more likely your *client* is to enjoy their time with you. And it’s pretty hard to enjoy yourself when you’re putting your attention on trying to blow someone’s mind.

5) Don’t underestimate what can show up when someone has a clear head, and feels connection. My primary aims when I’m having an initial “chemistry session” with a client are to a) get into a feeling of connection with them, b) understand where they’re at and, c) understand what “wonderful” would look like. During this process, people often have liberating insights that profoundly re-order how they experience themselves and their world.

That’s how you help your clients blow their own minds, and that’s often the pre-cursor to a long and fruitful client relationship.

By the way, the essential difference between coaches, therapists and other transformation professionals who are making a great living, and those who struggle to get started or stay afloat can be summed up in two words. I made a three minute video about it, and you can watch it here: https://www.jamiesmart.com/packages

I’m giving a small group of coaches, therapists and other transformation professionals the chance to experience a one-off Impact Immersion called Coaching Packages & High Value Clients, and the price goes up at midnight this Friday, 16th June. You can get your place here: https://www.jamiesmart.com/packages

Big love
Jamie

Jamie Smart
Sunday Times Bestselling Author, Speaker and Executive Coach

JST 210 – The fruits of your labours

Posted on January 16, 2018 by Eugenia Zelaya

Photo courtesy of Christopher Fynn and Flickr

“All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer.”
– Ira Glass

This week’s article is part 3 in my series, The 5 Paradoxical Clues To The Work You’re Here To Do. Over the years, I’ve regularly heard people say things like, “I’d do what I love, if only I knew what it was” and “I’d do what I love, if only I knew how to do it.” Before the holidays, I did a Facebook Live broadcast on my business page called “The 5 Paradoxical Clues To The Work You’re Here To Do”. People really loved it, so I thought I’d share the 5 paradoxical clues here in the JST. Here’s clue number 3: Read More →

TTE 130 – Zeppelin, Helsinki and tears of joy

Posted on January 11, 2018 by Eugenia Zelaya

1. A quote I’m resonating with this week
I’m still enjoying the hell out of Nicholas Nassim Taleb’s book, Fooled By Randomness. It’s well worth reading. Here’s the quote from it that’s giving me the most pause for reflection so far:

“Remember that nobody accepts randomness in his own success; only his failure.”

2. The search is over, except when it isn’t (a keynote speech I really enjoyed giving)
A couple of years ago, I gave the opening talk at the Unlimited conference in Helsinki, Finland. The conference was organised by one of my former students, the excellent Niko Leppanen, and it was a really wonderful event. The audience included many people who were brand new to the principles behind clarity, so I speak about the keys to resilience, performance and releasing your potential. I explain the subtle tricks of the mind that cause stress and anxiety, and point out the simple insights and realisations that can have you stop searching and start finding what everybody is looking for: fulfilment, peace of mind and enlightened success. The session was called ‘The Search is Over (except when it isn’t)’ and I really enjoyed it. Niko recently gave me permission to release the audio recording on the Results Mindset podcast, so you can listen to it here (or wherever you get your podcasts): https://www.jamiesmart.com/rmp31/ Read More →

RMP 33: Dr Jayanie Kodituwakku – A Look Within

Posted on January 10, 2018 by Eugenia Zelaya

Released 10 January 2018     Subscribe: iTunes

Dr Jayanie Kodituwakku is a former PricewaterhouseCoopers Management Consultant, Coach and Innovator. She works with individuals, teams and organisations to reveal the unexpected keys to Insight; the ultimate leverage point for creating a thriving business and life. Jayanie’s a contributor to the Huffington Post, writes for the Imperial College Business School on Management & Leadership and one of other the interesting things about her is that she’s regularly invited to the House of Lords for discussions on Consciousness.

Read More →

JST 209 – The paradox of improvement

Posted on January 9, 2018 by Eugenia Zelaya

Photo courtesy of Gabriel Rodriguez and Flickr

“An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.”
– Mahatma Gandhi

This week’s article is part 2 in my series, The 5 Paradoxical Clues To The Work You’re Here To Do. Over the years, I’ve regularly heard people say things like, “I’d do what I love, if only I knew what it was” and “I’d do what I love, if only I knew how to do it.” Before the holidays, I did a Facebook Live broadcast on my business page called “The 5 Paradoxical Clues To The Work You’re Here To Do”. People really loved it, so I thought I’d share the 5 paradoxical clues here in the JST. Here’s clue number 2:

Paradoxical Clue 2: You keep improving
My dear friend, colleague and early mentor, Christina Hall PhD, once told me a story about the virtuoso cellist, Pablo Casals in the later years of his life. As the story goes, a reporter went to interview the 83-year-old Casals at his home. The moment he arrived, the reporter could hear the sounds of beautiful cello music filling the house. Read More →

TTE 129 – Tricks, Taleb and Talking Machines

Posted on January 4, 2018 by Eugenia Zelaya

Photo courtesy of Eirik Solheim and Flickr

1. A quote I’m resonating with this week
I’m reading Nicholas Nassim Taleb’s book, Fooled by Randomness at the moment, and I’m really enjoying it. Here’s a quote from it that’s really resonating with me:

“Any reading of the history of science would show that almost all the smart things that have been proven by science appeared like lunacies at the time they were first discovered.

Try to explain to a Times (of London) journalist in 1905 that time slows down when one travels (even the Nobel committee never granted Einstein the prize on account of his insight on special relativity). Or to someone with no exposure to physics that there are places in our universe where time does not exist.” Read More →

JST 208 – Creating the impossible

Posted on January 2, 2018 by Eugenia Zelaya

Photo courtesy of linspiration01 and Flickr

‘What is essential in war is victory, not prolonged operations.’
Sun Tzu

My dear friend and colleague, Michael Neill was one of my early mentors, and the person who introduced me to the principles behind clarity. His new book, Creating the Impossible launches this week, and it’s brilliant. It’s all about how to get dreams out of your head and into the world. Here’s an excerpt:

Beyond Busyness
A couple of years ago I was chatting with the über-author Jack Canfield and I asked him if he was busy at the moment. He took a few seconds to consider his reply. ‘I’ve got a lot on,’ he said, ‘but I’m not particularly busy.’

This points to a key distinction made in Cal Newport’s insightful book Deep Work: busyness is often a substitute for productivity, not its cause.

According to Professor Newport, one of the reasons we spend so much time on email, social media, and ‘available’ to interruption is because it creates the experience of being continually engaged in activity, which leads us to the false conclusion that if we’re busy, we’re being productive. Read More →

RMP 32: Chris Stoikos – Clarity, Creativity and Viral Content

Posted on December 27, 2017 by Eugenia Zelaya

Released 27 December 2017     Subscribe: iTunes

Chris Stoikos is the wildly creative, out-of-the-box thinking, high performing CEO of the Dollar Beard Club. He’s a serial entrepreneur who at age 28 has already been responsible for over 100 million video views, tens of millions of dollars in sales, and has even landed a deal on the TV show Shark Tank for Coolbox, a product which he’s now since licensed. He’s a master of viral video, and Chris’s mission is to change the way that companies interact with potential customers. And in a Results Mindset Podcast first, we’re going to be joined by Chris’ Dad, Andy. Andy’s a father of 4, married for 31 years to his wife Suzanne, and is a retired PE teacher and entrepreneur.

Read More →

JST 207 – The 5 Paradoxical Clues To The Work You’re Here To Do

Posted on December 26, 2017 by Eugenia Zelaya

Photo courtesy of Kevin Dooley and Flickr

“Anything on earth you want to do is play. Anything on earth you have to do is work. Play will never kill you, work will. I never worked a day in my life.”
– Dr Leila Denmark (the USA’s oldest doctor)

I hope you’re having a peaceful and relaxing time over the holidays. At this time of year in particular, I often hear people saying things like, “I’d do what I love, if only I knew what it was” and “I’d do what I love, if only I knew how to do it.” So last week, I did a Facebook Live broadcast on my business page called “The 5 Paradoxical Clues To The Work You’re Here To Do”. People really loved it, so I thought I’d share the 5 paradoxical clues here in the JST over the next 5 weeks. So here’s the first clue: Read More →

TTE 127 – Fairytales, Evolution and Decision-Making

Posted on December 21, 2017 by Eugenia Zelaya

Photo courtesy of PokemonaDeChroma and Flickr

Heads up – it’s time for some enthusiasms. Let me know what you think via twitter at @JamieSmartCom, on my Facebook page, or on my blog here.

1. A quote I’m resonating with this week
I was listening to the excellent Sam Harris podcast, Waking Up, this week. Sam was having a conversation and Q&A session with the biologist Bret Weinstein in front of a live audience when he dropped this pearl:

“The first thing to do is to get over the idea that you want to fulfill evolution’s wish for you. It’s not a good wish and in fact it’s an absurd wish because I am not exaggerating to say that every single creature that has ever evolved has the identical self-same purpose which means it can’t be a very good one. If you have the same purpose as a liver fluke and malaria and a fig tree then it’s a pretty generic, uninteresting purpose at best. So the first thing to do is to recognise that we are in a very odd spot evolutionary. Evolution has awarded us the capacity to evaluate our purpose and reject it, which we should do right away. Having rejected it we can substitute other things and that leads right to the question of, “Well, what values actually do unite us?” Read More →

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